The Morning Of “Oh!”

Please bear with me, dear readers, for this is not a description of delicious food I have made, nor is it a recipe for such; this is the story of my morning, in which most of my sentences seem to be starting with the exclamation, “Oh!” as I realize I’ve forgotten or botched something.

First, there was the fish oil gel capsule that I tried to squeeze into the dog’s food. I made the requisite tiny slice at one end, picked up the capsule and squeezed — and a lively stream of fish oil leapt from the capsule, squirted down the length of the kitchen floor, ending on the refrigerator. Apparently I had the hole on the side, instead of pointing at the dog dish.

Then, while cleaning it up, I stepped in it and slid — coating my foot in intensely-smelly fish oil, and spreading the invisible oil further. (Side note: the fish oil regime is a new one, and my dog *hates* fish, it seems… except when the oil is on my foot. He’s laying across my ankles and licking my foot assiduously. I’ve given up even trying to get away. If I want to administer fish oil to the dog, I guess I’ll have to start squirting the capsules onto my feet. And if I miss, hey, maybe I’ll hit the dog dish. Win/win!)

What time did you say breakfast would be served? I’m ready any time. Now is a good time.

Then I sliced open a beautiful avocado for putting into my morning smoothie. It was gorgeous! Creamy, the perfect color, luxuriantly soft… I finished making my smoothie, turned around and – “oh!” – there was the avocado, sitting on the counter, looking innocent. I know it must have wiggled away while I was getting the quinoa out of the fridge. There’s no other explanation. (sigh)

I hard-boiled some eggs, put out a bowl of ice water to chill them as soon as the timer went off, and then absent-mindedly moved the pan of boiling water and eggs off the burner, turning it off… and wandering off without putting the eggs in the ice water.

Mind, this is all I know about. I haven’t tasted my tea yet, I might have put salt in it instead of sugar… lol I think I need to go back to bed. :}

Beef Stew (And Wallpaper Paste)

Well, my friends, I knew I would have some failures – and I come to you today, shifting my weight from foot to foot and rolling my cap nervously in my hands, because last night I made beef stew that could probably also be used as wallpaper paste if you were in a pinch. lol

I don’t know why I thought it would be a great idea to dredge the beef in flour before browning it; but for some reason I did, and once I started, my hands took over and my brain shut off, and I went through the process as thought I were making fried chicken, and then suddenly I found myself facing a pot of beef “gruel” instead of stew. Well.

It’s not really *that* bad. It tastes ok. And God knows I have A LOT of it.

BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAaaaaa. So today begins the Reclaiming Of The Gruel!! Because sometimes you have to be gruel to be kind, in the right measure, or something like that.

Snort.

So, um. I guess, when you’re cooking, you should probably pay attention. And the second moral of this story: this is why I didn’t become a surgeon.

Well, as I said in the “About Me” page, I’m not a chef, and part of the entertainment value of this blog will be watching my amazing failures. 😀 See you soon!!