Gluten-Free Cooking For One

Celiac And The Single Girl, Or: How To Make Food That Does Not Suck For One Person {Although I Suppose You Could Feed Other People, Too}

Hammmmmmm :) with Candied Ginger

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OK, so I think if you’ve been reading this blog for oh, say, 45 seconds, you’ve figured out that I’m not a member of any belief system (or dietary restriction) that prohibits the eating of pork. I’m not supposed to eat nitrates and nitrites, but… (looking innocent) I can’t eat SOoooOOO many other things that I kind of just look the other way when reading the label. Then, when the headaches get too bad, I stop eating the pork. :\

So I needed food for the next three days, because I’m either going to be on the road a lot, or snowed/iced into my house, and whichever way that goes, I’m going to need food. Stopped in to Sam’s Club for my old faithful, the $4.88 gluten-free rotisserie chicken – but alas!! It was not there. Dangit!! Too late. I knew they had a gluten-free ham, so I cut over to the meats and grabbed it.

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The magic words: “Gluten Free”? Well, yes, those. But also “Honey & Spice Glaze Packet Included”! nomnomnom

Twenty minutes later, the ham was in the oven heating for an hour as I prepped the glaze. So this is where I could try to flimflam and pretend to have made the glaze from scratch, but I am SO Not That Girl. The glaze is miraculously gluten-free, and I’m not one to look a gift glaze in the mouth, so I added 4 Tbsp of hot water to that packet of powder like a pro and voila!! Glaze.

My big addition to this story comes here: I cut up some of the crystallized (candied) ginger I made (this is from a new batch I made in late Dec.) and added it to the glaze, along with about 3 tsp of the ginger syrup.

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It’s like candy!! (Cameo song reference? Anyone?)

Here’s about how much I put in the glaze. It was a lot. I was really hoping for a nice gingery tang to the whole thing. I’d say I put in 10 or 11 pieces of ginger, all told.

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Lots of ginger, but no Mary Ann.

I had to put the glaze over the ham — no problem — but then the directions also said to put the glaze “in between the slices”, which was kind of gross. I’ve never really imagined what it might be like to force-feed a baby hippo, but if I had to guess, this would be it. o.O

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Alex Trebek, I’ll take “Phallic Meats” for $500

I will also state for the record that, while this is not the most phallic *item* I have ever cooked, it is actually the most phallic *meat* I have ever cooked. And yes, that does include members (snort) of the sausage family. Sorry, lads. This upstanding boyo’s got you beat. Look at him!! Just look! Or, you know, don’t. (cough)

So back into the oven went this little piggy for about 10 minutes and then out it came, glistening and just omg gorgeous and asdfghjkl;! It’s not terribly gingery, which surprises me. But it is super delicious, and should do a great job of feeding me long after I’m sick of ham in a few days. :}

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Mmmmmmmm ginger bits!

Would it look less phallic if I took a larger scene photo?

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(coughpeniscough)

Nope. Well, now I’ve sliced it up into containers, so no-one will be subjected to phallic objects in my kitchen. Sigh.

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Author: Christine Na'imah

I am a pretty bubbly person. A dancer, a prancer, and sometimes a vixen. Romantic and striving for grace, but unfortunately the emphasis is on "antic"; occasionally lunatic, trying to be demure. Probably failing.

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